The Mother’s Book of Well-Being: Caring for Yourself So You Can Care for Your Baby
Author Lisa Groen Braner

The Mother’s Book of Well-Being: Caring for Yourself So You Can Care for Your Baby Lisa Groen Braner Conari Press, 2003 ISBN 1-57324-822-3

Lisa Groen Braner joins the growing number of postpartum mother books with her first, The Mother's Book of Well-Being. Organized into 52 chapters, one for each week of the first year, Braner focusing on the new mother, offering comfort, support, experience, and generosity.

With books like this one, the gap between society's expectations of new mothers and the reality of their experiences may be closing. Loaded with lovely fantasies and "expert" advice, many women enter motherhood totally unprepared. They slam into their own preconceptions, beliefs, and emotions.

Braner takes these sleep-deprived new mothers by the hand and gently guides them through their new job description. Contrary to popular opinion, motherhood is not equal to martyrdom. Nor does it mean brain-dead. Braner wants to elevate it to a path of honor. From a spiritual perspective, Braner writes, "There is a mythical path that we walk on in becoming mothers, a heroine's journey. When we step into the dark woods, the abyss of the unknown, we come face to face with ourselves-our strengths and our limitations. Our primary work as mothers is to slay the dragons of our psyches that deter us from becoming our most loving Self."

Braner encourages women to become mothers of the own design. She offers two short suggestions at the end of each chapter. Many of her suggestions are to get a baby sitter or willing spouse or grandparent and take some time to go out and do something that nourishes the spirit. Instead of feeling defeated for giving up all pre-baby interests, Braner suggests picking one or two and making a little room for them -- take a painting class, go horseback riding, or shopping for shoes. It's not the activity that matters as much as choosing to do something that supports the women, not just the mother.

Braner's book is best read a chapter at a time, giving mothers a chance to try on her suggestions and think through their own experiences. Read all at once, the message to leave the baby becomes a major theme. Many women can neither afford nor want to leave their infants and may feel guilty if they don't. It's the other extreme of focusing totally on the baby. The answer is the balance between them, which is Braner's goal.

Braner writes like a trusted friend. She believes in her advice and believes in a women's right to self-care. She believes motherhood is a sacred journey, not to be taken lightly but not meant to weigh a ton. Clearly, it was life changing for her, and like many women, helped crystallize her values and beliefs. Braner offers her spiritual center, perhaps the place she found when she took the time to look within and not always at her babies.

Her short essays cover topics such as counting blessings, body consciousness, celebrating mother's day for the first time, claiming a few moments of peace, defining work, revisiting your childhood, and living your own truth. She is always gentle with herself and her readers.

In the chapter The Desert: Creating an Oasis, Braner encourages mother who've had a rough day, "Restoring sanity after a difficult day requires tending to our needs, halting everything else, and asking the question, 'What do I want?'" Braner gives women permission to ask this question every day. By looking within, and sharing with other mothers, women can dance out of the house, heroes to a new generation.